The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

Directed by: Tom Six

Release Date: 2009

After hearing different responses to this film and how friends could not continue watching, I had to see this spectacle for myself. Guess what friends? I was  - dare I utter the "b" word? - BORED! Yeah, I said it. I was frakkin' bored to tears. This movie was an exercise in pure spectacle and shock factor. No shock for me.

Briefly, the plot. Two girls, one whiny, one strong, are in Germany doing the European thing. They're on their way to a party and are lost in the woods. A wrong turn here and there, flat tire. They walk until they find something, someone, anything to help them. Pouring rain. A house looms in the distance. They knock on the door. Crazy Dr. Hieter opens the door. Their doom is sealed. The end.

What frustrated the most out of me was the reasoning behind Dr. Hieter's "experiment." He wanted another pet because his three headed dog passed. That' The experiment itself, I expected to be this most gruesome thing, right? A human centipede! What does that even look like? When I finally saw the completed "experiment," it was anticlimactic. Wow. That's it. Okay. What's the point of this film? This film was upsetting because it received so much hype for nothing. It was a big nothing. The ending was pretty sad (no spoilers here) but again, I wasn't moved or even disgusted. Not even grossed out. Perhaps I'm desensitized to all these horror pictures by now? Perhaps. There wasn't expectation of an Oscar picture or anything of the sort but, horror pictures are made to thrill, shock, or display subversive themes, right? This picture failed in all aspects.What a sequel will add to this completely stumps me.

A few things about performances: Dieter Laser as Dr. Hieter - sick and demented - played up the doctor so scary and spot on. And the Japanese actor, Akhiro Kitamura, was amazing. The last speech in the end (which came out of nowhere) was the best thing about this movie. Everything else is blah. I don't recommend this picture for anyone. Watch a documentary about horror pictures instead. Time better spent, is all I'm saying.

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